Diagram of the Supreme Ultimate, from the Compendium of Diagrams (detail), 1623 Zhang Huang (1527-1608).
Taiji means “supreme ultimate,” and as such the diagram symbolizes the fundamental Taoist view of the structure of reality, namely that beyond the duality of phenomenal existence, created through the interaction of yin and yang.
I went for a massage today with the lady my dad goes to and she is very into spirituality/new age healing/bordering on witchy and her studio was GORGEOUS. 😍💕
I’ve been getting fat compared to when i first came back to Davis. I began to get skinnier as i was eating less, but more recently, since i moved out of my teacher’s living space, have gotten back into my bulimia habit of binge eating late at night and, sometimes, throwing it up. I usually will take chinese herbs for digestion to help me with the massive quantity of food that is in my digestive system. The morning after the binge i feel not just incredibly stupid (like, literally, a loss of intelligence) but also feel weak and tired, especially when i binge on carbs the night before.
It’s time to make some changes though. I see my binge eating habit having an effect of my body that i simply can’t ignore anymore. I’m getting fat and, combined with smoking hookah every other day, have been feeling really shitty and dirty both in my internal environment as well as my external environment. I feel dirty. I look dirty, but i also feel dirty. I don’t like that feeling. I also don’t like the way that i look. I am actually a little fatter now than i am in the pictures above (where i am obviously fatter and more sluggish than the other two pictures).
All together, i think at the root of it is my lack of care about the consequences of seeking pleasure as well as my laziness to do anything about it. I guess you get to a certain point where you are compelled to actually make changes in your life. I haven’t hit rock bottom yet, but waking up this morning with a huge gut and having more difficulty breathing simply because i am fatter was a bit shocking to me. It’s time to make some changes
Ultimately, i want to be a fit, healthy practitioner of Tui Na and practice that skill so as to be usefully in the world. I don’t think i can really practice real massage without first being healthy. Having people pay me to give them pleasure is one thing, but i think to actually be a therapist in the healing arts, particularly massage, you have to be healthy yourself and not be a hypocrite
Honestly, my entire life i’ve spent cultivating hypocrisy. It hasn’t been until this last month that i’ve actually come to terms with where I am so far as discipline and maturity.
But being fat sucks. I can’t fit into my clothes anymore and don’t require a belt for my pants. Time for a change. I’ll start by incorporating intermittent fasting into my life, skipping dinner and allowing more time for fasting and see how that goes. I’ve done this before but not for a long period of time, certainly not long enough to make it a habit. It’d be great though, i think. For the three days that i did do it (recently) i already woke up the next morning full of energy and had already lost a lot of inflammation.
"Every moment counts. Every action counts. A single kind act can have a positive impact on the future of many others you share the earth with. You can change the course of the future in any moment."
Compassion arises within our minds and therefore is like a seed that is present within the mind. Like any seed, it has to be nurtured. In the case of compassion, we nurture it in several ways. One is to reflect on it, to direct our minds to it. Another is to take joy in compassion. A physical seed needs many things – soil, water, and sun – and these not only need to be provided, but provided in the right way. For example, when you water a seed, you cannot simply dump a gallon of water on it all at once, you have to water it gently and, therefore, it takes more time and more effort. In the same way, in caring for the seed of compassion within us, we need to be patient and persistent. If we do not take proper care of the seed of compassion, the seed will either not ripen or will ripen in an unhealthy way.
